did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
