Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
