we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I could make wine with my vomit
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
