forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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