Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
