Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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