hotel room ftw
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
