Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

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(609): View more from New Jersey

she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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(818): View more from California

She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know i think she's just using me for sex

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I hate you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"

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(641): View more from Iowa

So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

(563): View more from Iowa

1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.

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