I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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