I wish i was in the wii world.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize