were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
