is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize