I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
