NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I could have mohawked her pubes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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