i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
