You're my little dorito
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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