No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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