im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
