Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
