he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize
