this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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