you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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