Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
