yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
