My first STD was from a foam party
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
