I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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