Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
