You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
