so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
