My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
