It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
