Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
this hospital has no fireball
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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