The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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