no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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