5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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