ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
