so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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