what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
