"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
