I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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