Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
