For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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