saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
