So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you would pick up someone in the library
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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