I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
