There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want to make out with him forever
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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