i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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