We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
