OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
