i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
