I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
