fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
