So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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