Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
