your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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