i would punch a child for taco bell
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
