i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
