I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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