my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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