he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
